Family Dinners Equal Family Values

By Allison Berman
August 12, 2008

Are family dinners a thing of the past?

As the political battle ensues between Obama and McCain we will hear a lot about the importance of family values. For me, at the core of family values... is the family dinner which is about so much more than food. Family meals are a time to share stories of the day while eating a well balanced, healthy, home cooked meal. Are you thinking that between you running late at work, your spouse having to leave early for a fundraising meeting and your kids all off in their own directions- soccer, gymnastics and a school play there is no way to get everyone around the dinner table at the same time? Or did you breeze right past that logistical nightmare because you are completely befuddled by how the delicious home cooked meal was going to magically appear on the table? (Stay tuned for next week's column to see some simple ideas of what you can eat.)

When I started writing this column, I informally polled friends and family, on what their family dinners are like, only to find that most people don't have them, and they didn't understand their significance. It's about staying connected in today's fast paced society. It's about teaching small children social graces- table manners and how to have a group conversation. They learn you get a turn to talk, but that means sometimes you need to be quiet and listen. It's great practice for being able to eat in "real" restaurants so parents aren't relegated to fast food places that serve pasta with butter and have video games.

We each do our share to make family dinners a reality- if we didn't, I don't know how the food would ever make it to the table. My older daughter takes out the dog's food while I feed the baby. The puppy and baby eat first because they don't understand the concept of waiting like big girls do- a lesson in compassion for others.

When everyone is done eating, each person (my 4 1/2 year old included) clears his/her own dish. My husband takes the lead loading the dishwasher, packing up the leftovers, and putting things in the fridge. Dividing the work doesn't necessarily mean everyone doing an equal share. I am usually responsible for getting the food onto the table which is more time consuming than my husband's clean up- but since I enjoy cooking and hate to clean, and since he doesn’t mind cleaning it works for us. The key is finding what works for you.

Admittedly, it can be very tough to get everyone together at the table at the same time, and we can't do it every night but we do manage to eat together more often than not and when we do, it is frequently a highlight of my day. Our meal is sometimes cooked and sometimes cobbled together. The kids are sometimes sweet and well behaved and sometimes NOT. One of the few things that I can count on is that at some point during dinner my husband's BlackBerry will ring, beep or vibrate but at least he is at home with us, as we try our best to enjoy some family time together.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.