I Can't Walk in High Heels or Flats Anymore

By Allison Berman
March 31, 2009

I used to wear heels all the time, but now that I spend my days working from home and taking care of my kids, few opportunities present themselves so when I was invited to a fundraising event for Jewish Federation I was excited to get to wear my party shoes.

I was noticeably out of practice as I put on my black patent leather Mary Jane pumps, with 4 inch oxblood red heels. My 5 year old told me I looked beautiful but "be careful walking..."

Sure enough as I stepped off the shuttle bus, I turned my ankle in a microscopic crack in the asphalt; and down I went! My husband carefully stepped off the bus around me (feel free to laugh). After he helped me up and saw I was ok, he asked "Are you embarrassed?" I said "No, I fell. What can I do?" Always the logical thinker, he said I shouldn't buy shoes I can't walk in. He and I see fashion - and the importance of aesthetics in general - very differently so I didn't bother to argue.

So here I was at the event, struggling to walk in my beautiful heels without falling down and I realized my shoes are a metaphor for my life. I am a woman trying to walk in two worlds, trying to balance my career and my family - trying to have it all.

It's not the first time I have fallen. Over the summer I fell on a stone patio at friends' house, this time in mommy mode in Fit Flops. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Fit Flops, they are a brand of flip flops that are designed to strengthen leg muscles while walking. When I heard I could exercise without going to a gym, I was all over it.

So there I was, exercising without actually exercising, holding my then infant in one arm and trying to help clear the table with my free hand. When I fell in my heels I was able to break my fall with my hands. This time I fell on my forearms and my knees (ouch!) trying to protect my daughter (who was fine), and trying not to break a plate (not so fine).

Am I moving at such a frenetic pace that I can't walk in either "heels" or "flats" anymore without falling?

I may not be able to have it all, but I am giving it everything I've got trying. Everyday I push myself to do a little more than I think I can and some days I fall, but some days I accomplish things I never thought possible.

When my daughter asked how I did walking in my "party shoes," I told her the truth. "I fell down but I got back up, brushed myself off, and I had a great time. And who knows maybe next time I won't fall. I'll never know if I don't try.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.