I Need Sleep

By Allison Berman
March 3, 2009

Whoever came up with the expression sleeping like a baby, clearly wasn't talking about any baby I know. I recently ran into an acquaintance from school. He breezed over what his daughter is like now at 2 and focused on what it was like when she was a colicky infant - waking up for 5 hours every single night for months. He talked about the stress it caused his marriage and one would assume his job performance. Sleep deprivation is torture.

A few months ago 60 minutes ran a segment that likened the effects of sleep deprivation to being drunk, I can relate. My first daughter didn't sleep until she was 2 1/2. I got up with her every night and the lack of sleep did awful things to me. I got 3 tickets in a matter of months - my first and only tickets since I started driving 13 years earlier.

Looking back, it really wasn't surprising considering I couldn't complete a simple sentence. Fortunately most of my friends were sleep deprived too and didn't notice I wasn't making sense. When a friend did notice, she overlooked it knowing she could just as easily be the one struggling to remember the word "thumbtack" or "drawer."

My husband wasn't as understanding. His mind goes a million miles an hour and I just couldn't keep up anymore. He became extremely frustrated; how could I not follow him???

I tried napping but every time my daughter made a sound every muscle in my body tensed. Oh no, she's waking up! Then I would notice the mound of dirty laundry I had shoved into the corner so it wouldn't look quite so ominous. And how could it already be 3:30 - I still hadn't showered?

Fortunately my older daughter started sleeping and the fog lifted. I did a much better job sleep training my second daughter (more on teaching your child to sleep in another column.) All was good until she started teething.

I wrote a few columns not realizing how delirious I had become in a few short days. I emailed them to my husband (He reads everything so he has the opportunity to keep his private life, well, private.) I received a gently worded response saying they seemed "disjointed".

After a good night sleep, I re-read the columns and realized they weren't disjointed, they made no sense. Here was clear cut, indisputable proof that I wasn't playing games, I NEED MY SLEEP. This is why I get up with the kids: I am the primary care giver and he is the primary earner and we need our earner well rested and coherent.

A few weeks later I told my husband I would wait up for him to get home from one of his many meetings. He told me to get some sleep.

"But I like seeing you," I said.

He replied, "I like seeing you too, but I like you better when you sleep."

We'll catch up a different night.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.