Learning to Let Go

By Allison Berman
March 1, 2010

Take a look, find a nook.

In your nook, read a book with a Snook.

Have fun. Cut loose.

Pour yourself a glass of juice.

Celebrate the birthday of the great Dr. Seuss.

I grew up on Dr. Seuss books, and they were the first books I bought for my daughters. His illustrations are magical, and his rhymes positively contagious - so much so after reading one book too many, I have been known to talk in "Seuss Rhymes" like the one above. I assure you it's not as easy as you might think.

When "re-reading" his books with my daughters, I realized the only thing I really knew about the doctor that got me to read is that he went to Dartmouth College. And the only reason I knew that is that one of my brothers and sisters-in-law are both alumni.

I started digging around and discovered Dr. Seuss wasn't a doctor at all. Theodor Seuss Geisel included "Dr." in his pen name as a nod to his father's unfulfilled hopes that Geisel would get his doctorate and become a college professor. Imagine how different the world would be if he had become Dr. Geisel instead of Dr. Seuss.

How many of us, like Seuss, have parents whose dreams we didn't fulfill, dreams to protect us, woven from the thread of their life experiences, not ours? And how many of us are now dreaming for our kids instead of letting them dream for themselves?

I am finding it hard enough to let my 6-year-old child find her own path. I can't imagine how difficult it was for my parents to hear that I wanted to go to a fine arts college. I know I told them, "I want to find a career where I could use my talent," and I know all my parents heard was, "I am going to be a starving artist."

I compromised with my parents, and rather than going to a fine arts school, I went to a liberal arts college where I studied fine arts and something more practical, too (insert under-your-breath cough here): psychology.

What would have happened if Geisel had taught literature like his father wanted, rather than writing "literature" like "Green Eggs and Ham"? I'd like to think even as a college professor, he still would have written "The Cat in the Hat," just like I ended up finding my way back to the arts.

When as parents do we stop guiding our children and start following their lead? Is it when they get married, start their first "real" job? Is it when they apply to college? Graduate? Or is it much earlier, when they are small children flexing their "muscles" trying to figure out where we as parents end and they as individuals begin?

Letting go is scary, but at some point we all have to say:

You're on your own.

And you know what you know.

And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

- "Oh the Places You'll Go," by Dr. Seuss

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, works out of her home studio in Warwick. She paints one-of-a-kind home accessories, specializing in kids' décor. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at info@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.