Learning to Walk with Early Intervention

By Allison Berman
May 19, 2009

I am in a battle of wills with my 20 month old and I am losing. I have prodded, begged, and bribed my daughter to walk with little success. She started rolling over at 7 weeks but with her cautious temperament I wasn't particularly surprised she didn't crawl until almost a year. But, when she wasn't walking at 19 months and all of the late walkers were running right past her my "mommy brain" started doing the "worrying thing."

Maybe I was being neglectful by remaining calm.

Perhaps she wasn't walking because she couldn't.

I told my husband my concerns, and reached out to Early Intervention. This wonderful program enables children up to 3 years, with an established developmental delay, to receive services - at home - at no charge to the parents.

If there was a problem, there would be plenty of time to panic, and I saw no reason to do so unnecessarily. Instead I anxiously a waited "evaluation day" to get some answers.

The person from Early Intervention and two evaluators from Dynamic Therapy arrived. There was a psychologist my daughter gravitated to immediately and a physical therapist from whom my daughter kept her distance. It was as if she knew who was evaluating her gross motor skills (not walking).

I anticipated the evaluators telling me one of 2 things. A) There is a physiological problem. Here is our physical therapy plan. Or B) There is no physiological problem. She will walk when she is ready. I ended up with C) She can walk. She just won't.

Since she wasn't walking at 20 months, there was enough of a gross motor delay that she qualified for Early Intervention, regardless of the reason.

Soon I would have trained reinforcements helping me, help my daughter.

I have motivated resistant employees before and approached this situation just the same. The first step to getting her to walk (pun intended) was to stand up!

Armed with the knowledge she was physically able to walk, I was newly inspired. Finally one night, for mini marshmallows she stood. The next day for the same mini marshmallows she took her first steps.

OK, it was more like she shuffled her little feet, but for me they were perfect, wonderful steps. Her confidence grew and when the therapist came five days later she miraculously coaxed my daughter to waddle across the room; and then my daughter sat down, folded her arms across her chest and refused to move.

The very nice and very determined therapist then exercised her little baby muscles for 45 minutes while my daughter repeatedly cried out for me. The therapist held firm, telling her if she wanted mommy, to walk to me. Eventually, begrudgingly, she shuffled over.

Some employees will work hard for a reward, others respond better to negative motivation. My daughter finally walked for a little of both; to get away from the therapist (forcing her to exercise) and to come to me. I hope at some point she doesn't need the negative motivation, and learns how much sweeter it is to do things for herself; and if not, to just do it for the marshmallows.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.