Treating employees well means walking a fine line

By Allison Berman
September 15, 2009

Chances are you spend more hours with your employees or employer than you do with your family and friends, and it is common to foster close personal relationships at work.

So here's my question: As the employer, can you treat employees too well?

Years ago, I would have said the better you are to employees, the more likely they are to stay. And since you invest so much time and energy in training employees, the last thing you want is for them to leave, so you can't be too good to them. But now I don't know anymore.

Over the years, I have become more and more jaded. I have had my share of employees who have been fabulous, truly going above and beyond, until one day out of the blue they do something not so fabulous. And the optimist in me is crushed.

I will never forget the already well-compensated employee who decided to demand a raise one week after I told her I was pregnant. Unfortunately for her, she mistakenly assumed I wouldn't want the stress of dealing with finding someone new and I would just authorize the raise. Hormones raced through my body and I experienced a different mood every five minutes - not the time to mess with me.

In my manic state, I fired her outright. I was experiencing crazy bursts of frenetic energy that lead me to do insane things such as paint an entire mural on my daughter's wall in a day while on a ladder, six months pregnant. In my superhuman state, I figured worse comes to worst; if it took me awhile to hire someone new, I would just do her work myself. Rational? No. But I didn't want someone working for me who was going to take advantage of my vulnerabilities.

The stories are endless. There is the employer who fronted his employee money to take care of monthly bills, only to have the employee quit without notice while the managing partners were both away at a convention.

Or there is the employer who graciously provided a company vehicle to the incredibly conscientious, well-mannered employee (who referred to everyone as sir or ma'am) when the employee's car died so he would have transportation to get to and from work. The employee repaid the employer by stopping to show up for work (not returning the boss' calls) while still in possession of the truck! And the real kicker: The employee had a corporate credit card which he used to go on a spending spree, running up tabs at bars and shopping at the mall.

I'd like to say I have learned my lesson, but I haven't. I believe keeping employees at arm's length is bad for employee morale and you're certainly not going to get the best work from people who sense that you really don't trust them.

I am going to continue to look for the good in employees, but wait before I get my hopes up.

Here's to being cautiously optimistic.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.