Mixing suits and bibs makes flying trying

By Allison Berman
August 18, 2009

I recently tried another family trip to see my family in California. I couldn't get a direct flight from Stewart Airport to San Francisco, so we flew from JFK. It was quite the adventure as we tried to carefully navigate an airport and mode of travel that, in general, is much better suited to the many business travelers we saw on our journey than to our family.

JFK is no Stewart Airport. It's 45 minutes of up and down elevators plus a shuttle. So we checked bags curbside and, while my husband parked the car, I took the kids through security to the gate

Apparently, some companies still spring for first- and business-class tickets, so we stood idly by as "the suits" pre-boarded. American Airlines at JFK no longer pre-boards families with small children.

Crowded ailes delay seating
By the time we boarded, the stewardess couldn't get through the crowded aisles to locate a seat-belt extender to install my very tired daughter's car seat. While we waited, my daughter repeatedly smacked her hands on the side of her head doing the ASL sign for sleep — crying "bed, bed.

She got herself so worked up that even after we got the extender and put her into her seat, she just cried (read: wailed). More than a few business travelers seated around us were wishing they could do the same when the pilot announced a delay that would keep them hostage another 50 minutes with my lovely family!

Parents cringe as babies wail
I had unwittingly become the family I used to dread. I leaned into my daughter's car seat hugging her: partially to sooth her, partially to muffle her screams. What was I thinking flying two kids 3,000 miles across the country?

My husband joked it was too bad kids couldn't fly alone anymore. Of course, he wasn't serious, but it should give you a good idea of how bad the flight was.

All around us, people typed away on their laptops (my husband included in the row behind us). I'm pretty confident several had families and could commiserate with our desperation, and I am just as confident they longed for quiet just the same.

It wasn't until that moment I realized being the parent of the screaming child is about a thousand times worse than being one of the disturbed passengers. As the passenger, you feel bad for the unhappy child, but chances are, first and foremost, you want the child to be quiet strictly for your own selfish reasons.

As the parent, you also feel responsible for the quiet everyone sitting anywhere near you on the plane is longing for. I begged and pleaded with my daughter to stop crying, eventually resorting to lollipops.

My sister-in-law (aka Auntie Candy) had a great idea for our next trip: Bring "treats." Not for my kids, mind you — I travel with tons of stuff for them — for the people sitting around my kids, for good will. I wonder if the Twizzlers slogan holds true at 30,000 feet. Can they make the business travelers' mouths happy

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, handpaints custom home accessories for interior designers and private customers. She works out of her home studio in Warwick, NY. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at ali@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.