Time Off for Kids is Time off for Mom Too

By Allison Berman
February 4, 2010

Do you ever have those days when you have so much going on you need everything to go perfectly and nothing ever does? I feel like those days are becoming my norm rather than my exception!

I could say it's because my husband is in his MBA classes Saturdays, is frequently out during the week, and when he is home, he is frequently doing work. I could say it's because, on top of all of my other responsibilities, I have had to pick up the slack for my husband's lack of time to help now that he has all of these new commitments. Or I could say it's because, on top of being a stay-at-home mom, I am busy with my business, this column, and volunteering.

That all probably has something to do with why I am so busy, but I believe my biggest time drain is having two children in school. I understand it is counter-intuitive, but it's true. Last year, there was one school and no bus to meet. And while both girls took naps, I could get work done.

Fitting things in when you can
Now, I start my day getting my older daughter on the bus. I get back into the house just in time to get my younger daughter ready for physical therapy, PT-prescribed gymnastics, or pre-school in Monroe. PT and gymnastics is "mommy and child," and the pre-school "kids only" class is just short enough in duration, and just far enough from Warwick, that it doesn't make sense to come home to work while she is there.

Instead I grocery shop, and then sit in my car knitting a sweater dress I started sometime just before my now-6-year-old turned 5. (I recently realized if I don't finish it soon, it won't fit her no matter how long I make it.)

I come home, and my younger daughter and I eat lunch, and practice whatever skills we are working on in physical therapy. She goes down for her nap, and then I meet my older daughter's bus. I hear about her day at school and help with her homework. There is no time for her to nap anymore; there's barely time to make dinner.

After dinner, it's showers, their 20 cherished minutes of television and bed, when I finally start my work most days.

What doesn't have to be done?
I'm slowly accepting I have less time to do things. I no longer prioritize what to do first. I now prioritize what doesn't have to be done in a day, so I can do what does.

I'm adjusting slowly; using my reserve of "I don't have time to write a column this week" columns more frequently than I would like. Just when I worry I am going to run out, I am graced with one of the vacation days I treasure. No bus to meet. No school to drive to. No schedule to keep. The girls play with each other and nap and I replenish my column reserve.

Staying home with my kids and having a career is far from easy, but the most rewarding things in life rarely are.

Allison Berman, an artist and mother of two, works out of her home studio in Warwick. She paints one-of-a-kind home accessories, specializing in kids' décor. See her collection at www.withlovealib.com. She can be reached at info@withlovealib.com. Her column appears Tuesdays.